This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad.
Psalm 118:24.
3.1
You, Others and God.
If not being able to meet other persons because of your inability to see the visible signs of their presence isn't bad enough, consider this: persons who cannot dialogue as persons with other persons cannot dialogue with the Holy Spirit, neither can they dialogue with their King and neither can they dialogue with their heavenly Father. Why? Because They too are Persons. Moreover, our heavenly Father, our dear Lord and the Holy Spirit cannot dialogue with them. How can you reign (as Prince or Princess) in your realm of the Kingdom of God if you cannot communicate and dialogue effectively with God's children, your own brothers and sisters? The answer is very simple, you cannot. But you were born to reign, "Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth and conquer it." (1)
The
ability to communicate and dialogue is indispensable for Life in the Kingdom of
God. The Bible is full of pleas and supplications to men, to hear the word of
God. Here are but a few:
"
. . . Listen you Kings." (2)
"
. . . Israel, if you would only listen to me." (3)
Jesus tells us, "Why are you talking about having no bread? Do you not yet understand? Have you no perception? Are your minds closed? Have you eyes that do not see, ears that do not hear? Or do you not remember? When I broke the five loaves among the five thousand, how many baskets full of scraps did you collect?" And they answered, 'Seven'. Then he said to them, "Are you still without perception?" (4)
And again, when two disciples of John the Baptist asked our dear Lord, "Are you the one who is to come or have we to wait for someone else?" he replied, " . . . Go back and tell John what you have seen and heard: the blind see again, the lame walk, lepers are cleansed, and the deaf hear, the dead are raised to life, the Good News is proclaimed to the poor and happy is the man who does not lose faith in me." (5)
If we do not see and hear, we cannot dialogue with other persons- neither can we dialogue with our heavenly Father, with our dear Lord or with the Holy Spirit, who are also Persons. How in the world are you going to live as God's child if you cannot dialogue with your heavenly Father? With Jesus, your King? With the Holy Spirit, your Light, your Companion and your Counselor?
If we are unable to meet our loved one or other persons, we are unable to meet the Father, the Son or the Holy Spirit, for They too are Persons.
If we are unable to love other persons, we are unable to love the Father, the Son or the Holy Spirit, for They too are Persons. This is what John meant when he said, "A man who cannot love the brother that he can see cannot love God whom he has never seen." (6)
If we are unable to help other persons, we are unable to help the Father, the Son or the Holy Spirit, for They too are Persons.
If we are unable to thank other persons, we are unable to thank the Father, the Son or the Holy Spirit, for They too are Persons.
If we are unable to receive help from other persons, we are unable to receive help from the Father, the Son or the Holy Spirit who are also Persons. Under such conditions, you cannot be who you are, a person created in the image of God, and your life will be filled with heartbreaks.
Father
John C. Haughey, s.j. says this about Jesus:
"Through the relationships that developed between Jesus and others, the Spirit taught him. A capacity for being in relationship with another or others in such wise that one comes to self understanding through these is by no means automatic or universal. Relationship in this sense means a quality of interaction that exists when two people are present to one another as who they are. There are degrees of presence to one another or degrees of mutuality in relationships. There can also be false relationships, ones in which I am present to the other according to the other's expectations of me or according to my expectations of the other. There are exploitive liaisons too, which stimulate the experience of relationship but serve merely to widen the moat around the person and others and deepen the division between the authentic self and the performing self."
Father
Haughey continues:
"Every genuine relationship is a gift of God and opens out to God. Each deepens one's ability to receive the presence of the other as other. At the same time it develops one's ability to be fully present to another as oneself. Thus, each true relationship expands one's capacity to stand in openness to God as wholly other." (7) (Bold emphasis is mine.)
The
visible is a sign of the invisible. If you do not see the visible, you will
never see the invisible. If you are not present to your brother or your sister,
you will never be present to God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
Let
me share with you a last example on the question of the visible as a sign of
the invisible.
"Here,
take this."
"What?
This thing?"
"Yes."
"What
is it? Paper and ink?"
"Yes."
"What
is it? A book?"
"Yes."
"What
is it? The Bible?"
"Yes."
"It
is all that and more. It is the Word of God."
The
visible is always a sign of the invisible.
Dearest Child of God, what you see IS what you get. Are you going to live with things or with persons made in God's image? "It is the spirit (invisible) that gives life, the flesh (visible) has nothing to offer." (8) Parenthesized words are mine.
3.2
Dialogue between sweethearts.
Since
dialogue is everything, what are some of the obstacles to communicating with
each other? About 80% of the population
are either not aware of their presence or of the presence of others or both. About 10% of the population
live with things.
This leaves 10%
of the population who are able to communicate and dialogue with another person.
Consider further, the different values persons have where their security is
concerned. Here are a few.
Some
see health as their security.
Some
see money as their security.
Some
see power as their security.
Some
see intelligence as their security.
Some
see challenge as their security.
Some
see authority as their security.
Some
see position as their security.
Some
see solitude or isolation as their security.
Some
see beauty as their security, and so on.
Consider further that some persons make decisions entirely by what they see, while others make decisions entirely by what they hear.
Consider, still further, how each person has been reared differently- different backgrounds in education, different backgrounds in culture; consider the biases that have been cultivated. Consider how many persons have been scarred emotionally, and we soon realize how communications can be a formidable obstacle to vision, to growth, to togetherness and to happiness. These are only some of the many variables that make each of us what we are.
HOWEVER, there is an answer. It is a marriage where two persons in love, live with their dear Lord as God's children, in their Father's home, and nourish themselves with the Word of God, and receive the help of the Holy Spirit, and are enlightened and strengthened by the sacraments, and receive counsel from their Mother Mary and give praise and glory to God in all things.
Now each loving heart can share the same vision with the Other. Each can talk the same language as the Other, each can share a common Security, and consequently live together in real Peace, a peace that will allow their love for each other to blossom to heights undreamed of, together in this world and in the next with the entire royal Family, for ever and ever and ever. Amen.
How many factors there may be in the marital equation is not of concern. To live our lives as prophets, priests and kings (which is our heritage), we have Jesus' prayer as our hope, "Father, may they be one in us, as you are in me and I am in you, so that the world may believe it was you who sent me. I have given them the glory you have given to me, that they may be one as we are one. With me in them and you in me, may they be so completely one that the world will realize it was you who sent me." (9)
3.3
The bottom line.
It
is only through dialogue, that the Other can be present to you. To not listen
to the Other, is to deny the Other not only the right to be present to you and
be with you, but it also denies the Other the opportunity to have a
relationship with you. To not listen to the Other is to be unable to meet the
Other, unable to know the Other and consequently, unable to love the Other. To
not listen to the Other is to live with the Other as a flesh and blood object
and not as a person. To not listen to the Other is to deny the Other the
opportunity to grow and blossom as a person. To not listen to the Other is
rude, cruel and insensitive. This is not what our King taught us. Such an
attitude can cause heartbreak after heartbreak to the Other, even paralyze or destroy
life and creativity in the Other. Not listening to the Other literally mocks
God by degrading, cheapening and humiliating this heart He has placed next to
yours so that HE COULD LOVE YOU, personally and intimately. Dialogue is to
love, what blood is to life. Indispensable! There is no substitute! Like life
giving blood, dialogue must flow, pumped by a heart full of loving concern,
free of contamination and full of healthy properties, bringing life to the
heart and to the spirit of the Other.
If you would like to know how much love there is between you and God, consider how much time you spend in dialogue with your heavenly Father, with Jesus your King or with the Holy Spirit, divine Love that sustains you.
If you would like to know how much love there is between you and your spouse, consider how much time you spend in dialogue with him or her.
If you would like to know how much love there is between you and your children, consider how much time you spend in dialogue with them.
If you would like to know how much love there is between your pastor and you, consider how much time he spends in dialogue with you (10) or how much time you spend in dialogue with him. (11)
If you would like to know how much love there is between your bishop and you, consider how much time he spends in dialogue with you (12) or how much time you spend in dialogue with him. (13)
If you are to have a real relationship with an Other, you must have a relationship with a person, a spirit incarnate, two invisibles meeting through two visibles.
If you are to have a relationship with your heavenly Father, your King and the Holy Spirit, you must first have a relationship with persons, for They are Persons.
If your heavenly Father is to have a relationship with you, if our dear Lord is to have a relationship with you, if the Holy Spirit is to have a relationship with you, if your Mother Mary is to have a relationship with you- you must first have relationships with persons. Every time you meet an "Other" you should be fully conscious of the presence of the Holy Spirit who is making all this possible that you may grow and blossom as God's child.
If you are to live your life as God's Child (which is why you have life, the reason why you are here) you must be fully present to others, then and only then will you eventually be fully present to God. As Father Haughey says, "The role of the Spirit is peculiarly directed to the area of intersubjectivity, creating a betweeness where there was isolation . . . it is the Spirit who made the presence of one to the other possible."
Unless we allow the Holy Spirit access to our heart, (14) we will not be present to others. If we are not present to Others (especially our spouse and our children), we will not be present to our Lord the Holy Spirit, to Jesus our Brother, to God our Father and to dearest Mary, our spiritual Mother. Failure to have these normal human relationships with Others, with Jesus our King, with our heavenly Father, with the Holy Spirit and dearest Mother Mary, is to live this priceless wonderful life, as one, long, continuous, painful heartbreak.
Dialogue
is to love, what blood is to life.
Footnotes.
1
Genesis 1:28.
2
Judges 5:3.
3
Psalm 81:8.
4
Mark 8:17-21
5
Luke 7:20-23
6 1
John 4:20
7 The Conspiracy of God, The Holy Spirit in Us. See Permissions Page.
8
John 6:63.
9
John 17:21-23
10
Personally or as a member of the parish family.
11
Personally or as a member of the parish family.
12
Personally or as a member of the diocesan family.
13
Personally or as a member of the diocesan family.
14 Matthew 22:37