Father I love you. Test

21.1 Reconciliation.
Your Highness, there is one thread that links all the events of Jesus' life; He longed to see hearts reconciled with each other and with God.

Our King tells us, "if you are bringing your offering to the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar, go and be reconciled with your brother first and then come back and present your offering." (1)

Our Brother tells us, "if anyone hits you on the right cheek, offer him the other as well." (2)

Jesus tells us to, "love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you; in this way you will be sons of your Father in heaven, for he causes the sun to rise on bad men as well as good and his rain to fall on honest and dishonest men alike." (3)

Our King tells us to ask our Father to, "forgive us our debts, as we have forgiven those who are in debt to us. And do not put us to the test, but save us from the evil one." (4)

Our Brother tells us, "if you forgive others their failings, your heavenly Father will forgive you yours; but if you do not forgive others, your Father will not forgive your failings either." (5)

Jesus tells us, "I canceled all that debt of yours when you appealed to me. Were you not bound, then, to have pity on your fellow servant just as I had pity on you?" (6)

Our King tells us, "You must love your neighbour as yourself." (7)

Our Brother tells us, "when you stand in prayer, forgive whatever you have against anybody, so that your Father in heaven may forgive your failings too." (8)

Jesus tells us to, "Be compassionate as your Father is compassionate, grant pardon and you will be pardoned. Give and there will be gifts for you: a full measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap; because the amount you measure out is the amount you will be given back." (9)

Our King tells us, "If your brother does something wrong, reprove him and, if he is sorry, forgive him. And if he wrongs you seven times a day and seven times comes back to you and says, 'I'm sorry,' you must forgive him." (10)

And at the very end, giving up his life for us on the cross, Jesus said, "Father, forgive them; they do not know what they are doing." (11)

21.2 Forgiving is everything.

During our weekly retreats, we dealt with heartbreaks and forgiveness. Following are examples of severe heartbreaks. What they have in common, is that our dear Lord constantly forgives us when we do the very same thing to Him.

"My most bitter heartbreak was the betrayal I felt as a parent when my child committed an illegal act. I lost all trust in my child, and together, after forgiving him, had to go through a lengthy process of rebuilding that trust. A part of me died the day of the betrayal."

-When was the last time I betrayed Jesus? Long ago, hanging in pain from the cross, covered with blood, sweat and dirt, He saw my betrayal and asked His Father to forgive me.

~

"My heart was really broken when as a child I was always left behind because my parents did not want me to be with them." 

-When was the last time I left Jesus behind because I did not want Him to be with me? Long ago, hanging in pain from the cross, covered with blood, sweat, and dirt, He saw my rejection and asked His Father to forgive me.

~

"I told my Father I had gotten tickets for a very big game. He turned to me and said since I hadn't gotten him a ticket or included him in my plans." "Don't you care for me?"

-When was the last time I discussed my plans and my future with Jesus? Long ago, hanging in pain from the cross, covered with blood, sweat and dirt, He saw my disregard for Him and asked His Father to forgive me.

~

"One of the very deep hurts I experience, is when I feel ridiculed by my spouse or put down to the point that I don't want to share or express myself and be who Christ intends me to be. It makes for a barrier in communications and prevents one from growing."

-When was the last time I ridiculed or put down my dear Lord? Long ago, hanging in pain from the cross, covered with blood, sweat and dirt, He saw my cruel heart and asked His Father to forgive me.

~

"My mother never trusted, never had faith in or believed in me. She always looked for and believed the worst."

-When was the last time I put my faith and trust in our dear Lord? Long ago, hanging in pain from the cross, covered with blood, sweat and dirt, He saw my lack of trust in Him and asked His Father to forgive me.

~

"My greatest heartbreak is when I see my two daughters who are unable to talk with each other. They are becoming strangers to each other in this family."

-When was the last time I had a good talk with our dear Lord? Have I made Him a Stranger in my life? Long ago, hanging in pain from the cross, covered with blood, sweat and dirt, He saw my silence and asked His Father to forgive me.

~

"Not forgiving his children for their weaknesses."

-When was the last time I forgave myself for my weaknesses? Long ago, hanging in pain from the cross, covered with blood, sweat and dirt, He saw my unforgiving heart and asked His Father to forgive me.

~

"My father's refusal (through stubbornness) to speak to my spouse."

-How many times did I refuse to speak to Jesus through stubbornness? Long ago, hanging in pain from the cross, covered with blood, sweat and dirt, He saw my stubbornness and asked His Father to forgive me.

~

"Finding out our son is a homosexual, he tried to commit suicide and now feels that God will never forgive him for what he is."

-(Son.) Do I live my life feeling that God does not really love me? Long ago, hanging in pain from the cross, covered with blood, sweat and dirt, He saw my lack of trust in Him and asked His Father to forgive me.

~

"Accepting my husband's unfaithfulness to me and my children."

-Have I been unfaithful to our dear Lord? Long ago, hanging in pain from the cross, covered with blood, sweat and dirt, He saw my unfaithfulness and asked His Father to forgive me.

~

"Break in communications with my spouse, put downs and actual physical and mental abuse."

-Have I stopped communicating with my dear Lord who has never stopped loving me? Am I constantly blaming Him for things that go wrong in my life? Long ago, hanging in pain from the cross, covered with blood, sweat and dirt, He saw my hard heart and asked His Father to forgive me.

~

"Being abused by anger and angry words."

-Have I abused our dear Lord by being angry with Him? Long ago, hanging in pain from the cross, covered with blood, sweat and dirt, He saw my evil tongue and asked His Father to forgive me.

~

"My husband always breaks my heart by arguing with me, always wanting to be right."

-How many times have I wanted my dear Lord to agree with me? Long ago, hanging in pain from the cross, covered with blood, sweat and dirt, He saw my blindness and asked His Father to forgive me.

~

"My spouse lies to me a lot, so I find it hard to believe him?"

-How many times have I been untruthful with our dear Lord. Long ago, hanging in pain from the cross, covered with blood, sweat and dirt, He saw my lies to Him and asked His Father to forgive me.

~

"My spouse and I don't really know each other well, we can't communicate with the barriers down. We are always busy because we don't know how to communicate with our hearts. We lack quality time with each other."

-When was the last time I had some quality time with our dear Lord? Long ago, hanging in pain from the cross, covered with blood, sweat and dirt, He saw my misguided priorities and asked His Father to forgive me.

~

"My husband never took seriously the things that really hurt me. I was blamed for him losing his hair, for spending his money. They (husband and children) were always telling me I was never satisfied. If you only knew how much I tried- how generous I was to them. Every Christmas they spent with us I spent a great deal of money on gifts for them. My children always had too much (my parents were richer). The list was endless. When I made them a nice lunch for their return home, they threw it on the table, 'do you think we cannot afford to buy our own lunch?' When I had a large tumor and it was quite possible I wasn't going to make it, they wondered, "how long would it take to remarry if you died?"

-Have I taken seriously the things that really hurt our dear Lord? Long ago, hanging in pain from the cross, covered with blood, sweat and dirt, He saw my insensitivity and asked His Father to forgive me.

~

"Sexual rejection."

-Have I rejected our dear Lord when He wanted to love me? Long ago, hanging in pain from the cross, covered with blood, sweat and dirt, He saw my repudiation of Him and asked His Father to forgive me.

~

"I never get help around the house. I work! Work! Work!"

-How long has it been since I asked our dear Lord what I could do to help Him? Long ago, hanging in pain from the cross, covered with blood, sweat and dirt, He saw my indifference to the needs of others and asked His Father to forgive me.

~

"I feel wounded and hurt because you are dying and I have never known you. You have time with the boys to play golf and to play cards. But, I want you, not things. I want to hear 'I love you.' But this is my fault too, because I am blocked and perhaps frightened to say, 'I love you' because of the tears that need to flow between us."

-How many years have passed between our dear Lord and I since I told Him "I love you?" Long ago, hanging in pain from the cross, covered with blood, sweat and dirt, He saw my insensibility and asked His Father to forgive me.

~

"Discovery of a wedge being driven between my spouse and myself and being unable to understand what the cause is or how to overcome it. Only seeing hurt and frustration on my spouse's face."

-When did I last ask our dear Lord what is keeping us apart? Long ago, hanging in pain from the cross, covered with blood, sweat and dirt, He saw my preoccupations with everything but Him and asked His Father to forgive me.

~

"I hurt badly because the anger and abuse against my spouse cannot be forgotten."

-Have I forgiven myself when our dear Lord has forgiven me? Have I forgotten about my sins when He has? Long ago, hanging in pain from the cross, covered with blood, sweat and dirt, He saw my anguish in spite of His love for me and asked His Father to forgive me.

~

"To not to have tried harder to stop an abortion I know should never have happened."

-Have I taken this opportunity to confirm once again my trust in God and His Love for me? Long ago, hanging in pain from the cross, covered with blood, sweat and dirt, He saw my anxiety and want of confidence in His love for me and asked His Father to forgive me.

~

"I have been married four years. We have a wonderful little boy, I've raised him by myself because my husband is an alcoholic. He's never home. I love him very much, but he won't let me reach out to him. It hurts very much."

-When was the last time I let our dear Lord reach out to me and embrace me? Long ago, hanging in pain from the cross, covered with blood, sweat and dirt, He saw my absence from His heart and asked His Father to forgive me.

~

"When my husband left me for another woman."

-Have I left our dear Lord to give my heart to another person or thing? Long ago, hanging in pain from the cross, covered with blood, sweat and dirt, He saw my love for Him as second priority in my life and asked His Father to forgive me.

"Being from a broken home was most painful. My parent separated when I was a few months old. I never missed my father because I never knew him. However, I was always singled out at school and teased because of my parents separation. Whenever there were special events, I was hurt because we never attended them as a family. There were no family pictures- no family reunions- and when my sisters and I were married- no father."

-When was the last time I met with my spiritual family, my heavenly Father, Jesus my King, Holy Spirit faithful Friend, and Counselor, my dearest Mother Mary? Long ago, hanging in pain from the cross, covered with blood, sweat and dirt, He saw my estrangement from Heaven's Love and asked His Father to forgive me.

~

"When my mother died and I wanted to pray in my parish Church and found the door locked. This was one of my greatest hurts."

-How often did our dear Lord want to come into my heart, only to find the door locked? Long ago, hanging in pain from the cross, covered with blood, sweat and dirt, He saw my refusal to allow Him to enter and asked His Father to forgive me.

~

"When my son left his family and lived in with another woman. We felt that all this good bringing up was in vain. Where did we go wrong?"

-Our dear Lord has given me everything He has. How have I responded to His love? Long ago, hanging in pain from the cross, covered with blood, sweat and dirt, He saw my life given to his enemies and asked His Father to forgive me.

~

"My grandchildren are not baptized. What to do?"

-Do I thank God for His loving concerns for each of us? Do I praise Him because he told us He would not abandon us? Long ago, hanging in pain from the cross, covered with blood, sweat and dirt, He saw my refusal to come to Him for help and asked His Father to forgive me.

~

Your Highness, now will you believe me when I say that 90% of us have hearts punctured with the bitter thorns of heartbreak? We must forgive those responsible as Jesus has forgiven us, "Father, forgive them, for they know naught what they do." (12) We must also remember that neither are we without sin. (13) Your Highness, Jesus has made every effort to teach us that we must forgive:

those who wrong us. (14)

those who fail us. (15)

anyone we have anything against. (16)

anyone who does something wrong and is sorry. (17)

those who do not know what they are doing. (18) and,

we must have pity on others. (19)

we must be compassionate like our Father. (20)

we must not judge and we will not be judged. (21)

we must not condemn. (22)

we must grant pardon. (23)

we must forgive them as often as they ask, (24) and

we must forgive without measure. (25)

21.3 Forgiving with royal generosity. 
Your Highness, it is abundantly clear that the need to manifest love through forgiveness is the heart of our life in the Body of Christ. Because God makes us in His image, forgiving in love is our royal heritage. Not to forgive with love and compassion is to be what we are not. As a priest in the Royal Priesthood of Jesus, your loving duty is to forgive the Other, with Jesus, from the cross. You receive the strength to do this from Jesus' Love for you, from the number of times Jesus has forgiven you. We must forgive them as often as they ask, (Luke 17:4) and we must forgive without measure. (Luke 6:36-38)

When others hurt you because of circumstances over which you have no control, with Jesus embrace the pillar, receive the lashes and forgive.

When you are hurt because of your beliefs and convictions, with Jesus wear His crown of thorns and forgive.

When the road of life becomes too difficult to travel because of heartbreaks others have thrown onto you, share our dear Lord's cross on the Via Dolorosa and forgive.

When attacks from others are so severe as to completely overwhelm you, join your King on the cross and forgive.

Living these pains in Him, with Him and through Him, is to live your priesthood in Christ Jesus for the salvation of those you love. This single act in Christ Jesus- forgiving the Other- is the one that confirms your union with Him in perpetual love of the Other. Moreover your Highness, which one of us has not directly broken our dear Lord's heart in one or more of the ways described? Yet, He has forgiven us. He longs to forgive us. He wants to forget all of this and rejoice in your heart being with His again. There is no time in the Kingdom of God for heartbreak, only for reconciliation and rejoicing. Jesus loves you. Jesus yearns to be with you. Jesus has forgiven you for all the heartbreaks you have caused Him (directly or through others). Jesus longs to embrace you, to caress you in His Heart and protect you from any more pain in being separated from Him.

You should do likewise. You must do likewise. You are made in His image. It is normal for us to forgive. Not to forgive is to be what we are not, children of Darkness.

If the Evil One ever has you so tightly in his grip that you are not able to be close to an Other, to forgive an Other- take your Bible and begin praising God by reading the Psalms. Do not stop until your hardened heart is made human again.

You will never be who you are unless you do what your King asks:

you must forgive others as often as they ask. (26)

you must have pity on others. (27

you must be compassionate like your Father. (28)

you must not judge and you will not be judged. (29)

you must not condemn. (30)

you must grant pardon. (31)

you must give without measure. (32)

you must love one another as He has loved us. (33)

Your Highness, there is no greater power in the universe than the one you have received, to bring Christ's loving forgiveness, personally and historically, in time and in space to those who have hurt you and through you, have hurt Him.

Because you share in His Royal Priesthood, His forgiving heart beats through yours. His healing words are to be spoken through your lips. His healing hand strives to reach out through yours. His loving Heart yearns to embrace the Other through you.

As Monarch in the Kingdom of God, you are to be guided, consoled and sustained with the words given to you by our King who tells us, "Be compassionate as your Father is compassionate. Do not judge and you will not be judged yourselves; do not condemn and you will not be condemned yourselves; grant pardon and you will be pardoned. Give and there will be gifts for you: a full measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap; because the amount you measure out is the amount you will be given back." (34)

21.4 Example of forgiveness.

I remember one beautiful moment on a Friday evening at the end of a retreat I had given. I invited those who attended the sessions to share their week with one and all.

A mother told us that three years ago an argument took place between her and her daughter, and because of this, her daughter left home. For three years, she and her separated young daughter did not speak a word to each other. Can you imagine how they and other members of the family suffered during those three long years? Can you imagine how each suffered at the dinner table, with that empty chair leaving so many unanswered questions? How they suffered on birthdays, at Christmas, on those other special family occasions? How their daughter suffered, alone at her dinner table, with empty chairs leaving so many questions unanswered?

On Thursday morning (after the Wednesday evening session on forgiving), she said she telephoned her daughter (she had moved away some considerable distance) and told her she loved her very much, that she missed her and that she wanted to be with her. She wanted her to know that it would be good for them to be in each other's arms again, to hug, to talk, to laugh and to be together as a family.

Because this loving mother said yes to the prompt of the Holy Spirit in her heart, through her lips, Jesus reached out from His cross, ("where Love is God is" (35)), He spoke and healed this broken relationship. A formidable barrier of stubborn pride and painful hurt on both sides simply dissolved under the power of His Love. Mother and daughter were reconciled and were in each other's hearts and arms again. The family was together and whole again. Tears filled her eyes (and mine) in seeing the wondrous works the Lord God does from our hearts. It is the parent's loving ministry, to bring Christ's forgiveness to His children.

21.5 Rule of thumb in the Kingdom of God. 
Anything that brings about union in the Kingdom of God is good. Anything that causes separation or division in the Kingdom of God is bad.

21.6 The donut episode.

I remember one occasion (among many) when Florence and I did some saber rattling. Afterwards (as usually happened), no one said a word. Florence went for a walk. When she returned, still in her overcoat (it was winter), she had a little brown paper bag in her hand. Extending her arm, she offered it to me. It was a donut from the donut shop. How beautiful she looked as she offered this opportunity for reconciliation. I opened the little brown bag and looked at that lonely donut . . . quietly lying there . . . waiting . . . wondering . . . Florence and I looked at each other and laughed and hugged and laughed and hugged. Then, we had a big party with our little donut.

Can you imagine how terrible it would have been had I said, "I'm not hungry?" or, "I don't like that kind!" or "Keep your #&%@ donut!"

In her desire for reconciliation, can you imagine what terrible cutting pains her heart would have further suffered getting a response from me like that? Can you imagine her heartbreak if she heard such animosities from the one she said, "Yes." to in marriage? From the one she chose above all others? Can you imagine what confusion she would suffer, receiving new cutting verbal abuse from the one she gave her heart and one and only life to? Can you imagine how our heavenly Father would feel if He saw His son treating this gentle, loving heart like that? He wouldn't want to have anything to do with such a person. He would be ashamed to call him, "My son." Who could blame Him? When we act like that, we simply do not deserve to be treated as God's child, and we certainly deserve whatever punishment follows.

Remember, in the Kingdom of God, everything that unites is good; everything that divides is bad. We must always embrace opportunities for forgiving and for being forgiven, with a loving, humble heart. No words, just hugs and kisses. Long hugs and many kisses. Long, long hugs and many, many kisses.

Reconciliation is a time to rejoice, to have a party and to celebrate. Our blessed lot in life is to rejoice and celebrate in being God's children. Rejoice and celebrate for He loves us and watches over us always. He will never, never, never let us be separated from Him through want of forgiveness.

21.7 Cutting heartbreak off at the pass.

It is impossible for persons, at the time of their marriage, to know the other totally and completely. Indeed, they never will know the Other totally and completely.

One reason why there are so many heartbreaks in marriage, is because the "yes" to the other, the "yes" to love, the "yes" in the marriage vow, was not a "yes" to the total other person. It was a "yes" only to what was seen and to what was known of the Other.

Where Love and marriage are concerned, your "yes" must be a conscious "yes" to everything you see and know of the Other, and a conscious "yes" to everything you do not know and do not see in the Other. Your "yes" must be a "yes" to the entire person the Other is, seen and not seen, known and not known, visible and invisible, present, past and future. All of these make up the Other to whom you are saying "yes" to. This is how our dear Lord loves us- warts and all. Surely Jesus has proven this.

Your Highness, was your "yes" to your spouse a "yes" to everything you see and do not see about him or her? Was your "yes" to your spouse a "yes" to everything you know and do not know about him or her? If not, then you must take the time to consciously reaffirm your loving "yes" in this context. You may do it in private or with him (or her), but it must be done, with love and commitment and the sooner the better. Give your loving "yes" to the whole person, the person you know and do not know, the person you see and do not see, a "yes" to his or her past, present and future. With such a "Yes." your heart will yearn to discover, to meet, to love and to care for this singular, unique Heart, each and every day for the rest of your sweet lives, together.

21.8 Love is all that counts.

Once, a very dear friend of mine was hospitalized with an infection in his heart. No one knew what the problem was and it took a lot of research for a team of cardiac experts to find the cause. During this time, his health continued to deteriorate.

I visited him every day, brought him the Eucharist and arranged for him to receive the sacrament for the sick. We discussed everything under the sun including the fragility and the vulnerability of life, no matter how physically or mentally strong one may be.

One day about 7:30 in the morning, on my way to the office, I brought him the Eucharist. Alone in a large room, he was strapped to a table set at a 45-degree angle. He was at the peak of his illness and sufferings. Far away from home, lonely, surrounded with gauges, monitors and other machines, attached to lines and tubes, he was at the end of his rope. It was heartbreaking to see this former navy commander at the mercy of a microscopic germ that had rendered him powerless.

As I was helping him prepare to receive our dear Lord, his eyes focused into eternity and he said to me (and to himself), "Raymond, the only thing that matters in this life is love." After he received the Eucharist, I embraced him and left.

Eventually the medical team found the cause of his illness. A type of bacteria (normally found in cows) had infected his heart. He recovered completely and returned home. His words, however, echoed the one and only law there is in the Kingdom of God. Jesus tells us what it is, when the Pharisees put this question to Him:

"'Master, which is the greatest commandment of the Law?' Jesus said, 'You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second resembles it: You must love your neighbour as yourself. On these two commandments hang the whole Law and the Prophets also.'" (36)

"Raymond, the only thing that matters in this life is love."

21.9 Hugging a corpse.

Once, while on duty in pastoral care at the hospital, a man who had a heart attack was brought into the emergency unit. He died within a few minutes. After the nurses removed the equipment, I brought the family into the cubicle, where we lived the reality of the moment. As the family was leaving, I saw that one son had a particularly difficult time dealing with this event. I asked that he stay with me, telling him he would join the family later. With God's eyes, I saw that he and his father were not as close as he would have liked- now he did not know what to do.

I said to him, "Name, this will be the last chance you have to embrace your father, why don't you do that and tell him how much you love him?" He threw himself on his father's bare, cold, lifeless chest, put his arms around him, embraced him and cried and cried and cried. Rivers of tears flowed from those youthful eyes. I thanked God for liberating him from carrying the cross of "I wish..." for the rest of his life. Can anyone tell me what is so unforgivable in this world that a son has to embrace a corpse to be close to his father? Your Highness, would it not have been eternally better if father and son hugged and loved each other each day that they were together?

"Raymond, the only thing that matters in this life is love."

21.10 Death in the blueberry patch.

On another occasion, a family was out on a Saturday morning to pick blueberries. Without warning, a boy in his late teens fell to the ground, dead. One minute this family was together, laughing and enjoying the beautiful morning sun, picking berries; the next, they're in the hospital emergency ward with a son in full splendor of youth, lying dead on a hospital bed. Were there things said that morning that should not have been said? Were there were broken hearts that were not healed? Were there kisses and hugs that should have been given that were needlessly put off?

"Raymond, the only thing that matters in this life is love."

Your Highness, today is the only day you have. It's a day to love, a day to forgive, a day to heal and a day to welcome those who are dear and precious to you. It's a day to tell them so. This is the power given to you from God. Do not let Satan's murdering pride use the so-called arguments of right and wrong, ruthlessly cut and cripple that fragile human heart God has placed next to you. If you harm this precious heart, one-day you will have to explain your actions to your heavenly Father.

How many words will you need to explain to God your rules on right and wrong? Eternity will not be long enough to make your case. Our dear Lord taught us the only two words we need to know- Love and Forgive.

"Raymond, the only thing that matters in this life is love."

21.11 How to prevent conflict.

Want to prevent conflict? Try and see the other person's point of view. In this drawing, we see a table, two chairs and a sphere suspended from the ceiling.

Gerry is in one chair. Helen is in the other.

"Say Helen, that's a lovely white sphere."

"Yes, it is a lovely sphere, Gerry, but it's not white, it's black."

"Black? I think it's white."

"Gerry, I'm not blind. Do you need glasses?"

Soon there is a terrible argument.

The tragedy, is they are both right. How can two persons get into such hostilities when they are both right? 

Here is what should have happened.

"Say Helen, that's a lovely white sphere."

"Yes, it is a lovely sphere, Gerry, but it's not white, it's black."

"Black? I see a white sphere. Hold on a minute Helen, I'll have a look from your end of the table. By golly, you're right. Your half IS black, but my half is white. Come and see for yourself."

Helen goes to Gerry's end of the table, "Well I'll be! Your half IS white. This is a sphere where one half is white and one half is black. Well, look at that."

What happened? One person got up and went to see what the other person saw, to look at things from the Other's point of view. Because of this, now they both see the truth. The sphere is neither white nor black, but half-white and half-black.

It is the Truth that keeps hearts together.

21.12 Two's a crowd, three's company.

There are also situations where, because of personalities or chemistry, some individuals simply cannot meet without there being a conflict or the potential for a conflict. A way for them to avoid potential conflict is to introduce a third presence to their meetings.

When I was city administrator, certain persons came to my office with a chip on their shoulder. To diffuse potential conflicts, I would leave my side of the desk, sit with them on "their side" and write the problem down on paper or on the blackboard. Then, instead of each of us looking at each other (as though the other was the problem), we would look at the problem now on paper or on the blackboard. The problem was now "out there" and we could look at it together.

This went a long way in avoiding potential friction and conflict. Further, our vision was no longer clouded with a sense of being threatened by the other. The problem itself became much clearer to see and, consequently, much easier to resolve.

Our efforts (now a team effort) were directed to solving the problem, now a real third presence. It was no longer one against the other. We were no longer adversaries. Our efforts were constructively energized to solving the problem, which was now much easier to see "out there." Try this when working on a problem with your spouse, your children, your parents and others. Let this providential difficulty become a blessed opportunity to learn, to grow and to conquer- together.

21.13 People need time sometime. 
A person once told me that she could never talk lovingly with her mother. Every time she telephoned (overseas calls) her mother would just listen to her, then say, "Ok, Bye" then hang up. She (the daughter) would then get upset and angry with her mother because she wouldn't talk with her. 

Some persons (because of childhood or other experiences) are not able to get emotionally involved live, face to face or voice to voice. Because of this, they cannot interact quickly enough. I advised her not to telephone her mother but to write to her instead. Let her have the time she needs to read your words and "listen" to you. Let her receive your love through the written word, when she is alone and can take the time needed to "listen" to you. She will be better prepared to receive your love, without the fear of being forced to return her love to you immediately when she is loved live over the telephone. Eventually, she will write back. In due time they will enjoy each other's company face to face, hug to hug, heart to heart, live.

21.14 The bottom-line.

Your Highness, as God's children forgiving is supposed to be what we do best. Little children have no problems with forgiving and reconciliation. Almost immediately the transgression is forgotten. We must be childlike. Children have no taste or time for revenge or grudges. Children forgive almost instantly. We are not supposed to excel at anything else. All our diplomas and certificates are supposed to be in forgiving. Our joy in forgiving and in reconciling ourselves with one another is what identifies us as members of the Body of Christ. We can be ignorant and foolish in many things, but forgiveness is not one of them. Your heavenly Father expects you to be the greatest forgiver the world has ever seen. When you go before your heavenly Father, He must recognize you (as His son, as His daughter) by all the medals of forgiveness you carry on your heart.

Whether you are celibate, married or ordained, it is impossible to live any ministry without a loving, forgiving heart in Christ Jesus. "By this love you have for one another, everyone will know that you are my disciples." (37) Persons in the ministry of marriage receive special powers where love and forgiveness are concerned.

Assure peace and God's happiness in your life by loving and forgiving one another, and liberate yourself and your loved ones from untold cutting heartbreaks.

"Raymond, the only thing that matters in this life is love."

Footnotes.

1 Matthew 5:20-26.

2 Matthew 5:38-42.

3 Matthew 5:43-48.

4 Matthew 6:7-15.

5 Matthew 6:14-15.

6 Matthew 18:21-35.

7 Matthew 22:35-40.

8 Mark 11:25.

9 Luke 6:36-38.

10 Luke 17:4.

11 Luke 23:34.

12 Luke 23:34

13 John 8:7.

14 Luke 17:4.

15 Matthew 6:14-15, 11:25.

16 Matthew 5:20-26.

17 Luke 17:4.

18 Luke 23:34.

19 Matthew 18:21-35.

20 Matthew 18:21-35.

21 Luke 6:36-38.

22 Luke 6:36-38.

23 Luke 6:36-38.

24 Luke 17:4.

25 Luke 6:36-38.

26 Luke 17:4,

27 Matthew 18:21-35.

28 Matthew 18:21-35.

29 Luke 6:36-38.

30 Luke 6:36-38.

31 Luke 6:36-38.

32 Luke 6:36-38.

33 John 15:12.

34 Luke 6:36-38.

35 1 John 4:8.

36 Matthew 22:35-40.

37 John 13:35.