Father I love you. Test

34.1 First ministry.
There are many ministries in the Kingdom, but the very first instituted by God is the ministry of Marriage. "God blessed them saying to them, 'Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth and conquer it.'" (1)
He blessed our first parents.
He told them to be fruitful,
to multiply,
to fill the earth and
to conquer it.

Our first parents (being His very own children) would, of course, do this in ways they would learn from Him. In marriage, they would learn how to minister from Him to Him.

The blessed mission of the ministry of marriage is to return God's Love to Him, with hearts full of joy, praise and thanksgiving. Thus does God's Love become present and alive in a Divine/Human community. Without the ministry of marriage, there is no sacred community, no Church, no ministering to God. By His authority, married couples minister to God in Christ Jesus, as Kings and Queens in their respective corners of the Kingdom. This they do:

1. Through a loving conjugal communion.
2. Through the transmission of His Life.
3. In making Him known to the new Hearts He places in their charge.
4. In bringing the Love, Light, Life and Truth of Jesus' message to their brothers and sisters.

Hearts called to minister and worship God through the sacrament of Marriage do so in union with the Holy Spirit, who (from the moment of their baptism) gives them everything they need for this ministry. Jesus is the tree, marriage is the blossom– one destined to produce much fruit. The sacrament of Marriage is the Ministry on which all other ministries are dependent. Without husband and wife ministering in a loving union with the Holy Trinity, there are no Church members. Without members there is no community, no body, no growth and eventually no life. This being so, most of the resources of the institutional Church must be at the disposal of this ministry. Without it, there is no Church, no visible sign of Jesus’ sacramental presence.

34.2 Qualifications of spouses in the ministry of marriage.
Each heart must be a living member of the Body of Christ, fully aware and knowledgeable of his or her baptismal gifts and powers.

Each heart must be spiritually mature, conscious of his or her childlike relationship with his or her heavenly Father, his or her King and his or her Counselor, the Lord Holy Spirit.

Each heart must be aware of his or her mission as Priest, Prophet and King, in restoring creation for God's greater glory in Christ Jesus. They will do this as King and Queen in their realm, nourished, equipped and guided by Christ Himself through His Church, visible sign of His presence with them.

Each heart must be human, sensitive to the divine mandate of caring for the Other, allow and help the Other to grow and blossom to his or her full color, splendor and fragrance.

Each heart must be psychologically mature to the point where he or she can choose to love the Other and be faithful to his or her choice.

Each heart must be sexually mature, to the point where they can love each other for his or her Father's greater glory.

These hearts must be aware (for their sake and for the sake of the Other), that the Other belongs first to Christ Jesus their Lord and King. Affection for the Other must never be at the expense the love and affection due to your King. Indeed, the more you love the Other, the greater must be your love for your King who is responsible for bringing the love and beauty of the Other into your life. St. Theresa tells us that it is impossible for one bound by human affection to have intimate union with God. (2) Remember your priorities (Chapter 25.2).

34.3 When lacking in qualifications.
Many of us are lacking in these qualifications and, more often than not for reasons that are not of our doing. (3) Hearts who can identify shortcomings in their qualifications to minister to God before their marriage, (which necessarily also means ministering to Others) should take steps to correct this (together if possible), before they marry. Hearts who can identify shortcomings in their qualifications to minister to God after their marriage should take steps to correct these (together if possible), as soon as they are conscious of these. The rewards will be tremendous where their own happiness is concerned, for God's greater glory and for everyone in His Kingdom. Helping persons who need help in these specific areas is a first priority for the Church. It also requires a redistribution of its resources for this purpose.

34.4 Marriage models.
The quest of the lover is to be one with the One loved. It is only when the two become one that love is in full splendor. To see this wonder in marriage more clearly, we will look at seven different marriage models. In each model, a small wine goblet will symbolize the holy state of celibacy. The liquid in the small goblet will symbolize a person living in the holy state of celibacy. A chalice will symbolize the holy state of matrimony, all that two persons can be as one in marriage. (See cover.)

In other words, in marriage, love enables a person to become more than what he or she was as a celibate. In a marriage between two loving hearts, one is more one's complete self than one was as a celibate. Rather than losing an identity, in marriage, one realizes one's total and complete identity.

To do this we must become one with the Other. We leave self to become more than what we were as we become one with the Other. As the years pass, more and more of each person will become one with the Other. Since love for the Other is the reason for doing this, there is no hesitation for placing one's focus and concerns on the Other (Kingdom of God) and not on self (Kingdom of Satan). This is the power and transforming nature of love.

Married life, however, can also be a time for bitter heartbreaks, many of which needlessly happen, as you have seen from what you have read so far. Many hearts have faced a terrible gauntlet of painful experiences practically from the first day of marriage. We will examine some of these situations as well as what you can do about them.

First let's have a quick look at the cover picture and identify what each item symbolizes.

The gold cross reminds us of our dear Lord's divine love for us, His sufferings and His death. It reminds us that if we are to love a lot, we should expect to suffer a lot- a positive, healing, life-giving suffering that wells from our King's Love.

Each small wine goblet symbolizes the state of celibacy of each person, and the wine in each goblet symbolizes the presence of that person living in celibacy. The colors blue and pink symbolizing man and woman.

The giving of self to the Other, the leaving of a, "Me" life to begin a new, "You" life, is symbolized by the wine leaving each separate goblet and coming together as one in the chalice. It is a constant giving of self for the health, welfare and happiness of the Other. Once the wines blend they can no longer be separated. They are no longer two but one.

The chalice reminds us, in marriage we die to love of self and live for the health, welfare and happiness of the Other, like our dear Lord taught us, like our dear Lord did for us. The chalice also tells us that no happiness is possible unless our ministry is one in Christ Jesus. It is here where the ministers in the sacrament of marriage will, with our dear Lord, build His Church. It is here where the Royal Couple will minister to Him, to each Other, to their families and to their brothers and sisters in the community.

In marriage, the two "Mes" become a new, one, "You".

The blue area symbolizes the Kingdom of God, the darker area the Kingdom of Man, and the black area the Kingdom of Satan. The gold goblets and gold chalice symbolize our royal stature as God's children. The green page symbolizes our hope in God, His Love and His mercy.

[I invite those responsible to incorporate this symbolic act in the marriage/Mass ceremony. Before the marriage ritual begins, the chalice is placed on the corporal on the altar, and a small glass or goblet or cup of mass wine is placed at each front corner of the altar. The celebrant explains the symbolism to the congregation. After the groom says, "I do." he proceeds to the altar and empties his wineglass into the chalice. His empty wineglass is then returned to his corner of the altar, but now the glass is turned upside down. He then returns to his place. The bride does the same after her, "I do." After the marriage is recognized and blessed by the celebrant, the celebrant raises the chalice and says, "Name and Name are no longer two therefore, but one body. So what God has united, man must not divide." (Mat. 19:6) This will be the wine that will be consecrated at Mass, a new You created in Christ Jesus.]

Now, let's look at seven marriage models. We will meet:

Mr. and Mrs. Wine.

Mr. Me and Miss Me.

Mr. and Mrs. Grape-juice.

Mr. Wine and Mrs. Water.

Mr. and Mrs. Water.

Mr. Tar and Mrs. Wine.

Mr. and Mrs. Ice-Cube.

34.5 Model 1, Mr. and Mrs. Wine.
In marriage number one (cover) we see two persons (wine and goblets) aware of who they are because of their baptism. They recognize their existence as children of God in Christ Jesus and have no intention of living any kind of life that is not befitting their state, for they are members of the royal household. They are God-fearing Christians whose hearts are filled with simple honesty and goodwill. They love their faith and cherish kingdom values as revealed to them by Jesus their King through His Church. The red wine in each goblet symbolizes their faith in our dear Lord.

They did not attain their royal status on their own. This priceless heritage was passed on to them by parents who love and fear God, by a parish community that taught and fed Christian values, and by a conscientious school support system and a community that is sensitive to the worth of its members.

Coming together in marriage, their love and their lives will now intermingle into a new rich, full-bodied red wine. Together as God’s children, love will be sweet and satisfying, full of color and palatable, for each now lives in reciprocal concern for the health, welfare and happiness of the Other. No matter how stormy it may be outside, it will always be rosy inside. Like the taste of a great new wine, they relish and enjoy the adventure of becoming one with the Other in God's Kingdom. The two previously celibate “Mes.” now begin a new life as a one, greater “You.” They leave their separateness to live a new life in the Other as One. It is from this new creation, from this new, “You”, where marital love, vision and knowledge will be found. It is from this new creation, this new You, where children will be born and raised.

[If either spouse makes any decision as a, "Me" person rather than having decisions made by the, "You" person, the wine will slowly sour and lose its flavor. The family unit will disintegrate. Children must never be raised by a, "Me" person, this is not their heritage. A child needs the parental love of a, "You" person to fully blossom with all the perfume and splendor that is rightly his or hers.]

Because their greatest treasure is the Other, these hearts lack and want for nothing else. Happiness for them is not in possession of material goods, but in holding on to their King's hand, together. They are in awe of the beauty and splendor that the Other is. These two hearts will learn quickly how to beat as one.

They have no hesitation or difficulty in giving God praise for His goodness and many benedictions. His presence and His Love are so obvious, this they see in the eyes of the Other. Their vision and strength grow as they nourish themselves with God's Love through the sacraments. This is what enables their love for each other to continuously reach new heights.

Notwithstanding their love for the Other, as God's children each heart will always belong to God and to God only. Each person is first and foremost God's Child. This eternal reality is acknowledged and respected by the Other. "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; before you came to birth I consecrated you; I have appointed you as prophet to the nations." (4) And, "I have called you by your name, you are mine." (5)

They bask in the security and peace of being children who live in their heavenly Father's home. The Blood of eternal Love and Life flows through their veins. They are great healers for each other and for those around them. Because they are so completely fulfilled, they gravitate naturally to the aid of whoever needs their help.

They have proven their ability to receive and administer God's gifts with thanksgiving and benediction, using them for His greater glory. He will continue to bless them with greater and greater gifts, as they "increase in wisdom, stature and in favor with God and men." (6)

34.6 Blessing each other.
Many couples often bless each other and their children. Is one leaving on a trip? One blesses the other for a safe journey, asking our mother Mary to watch over him or her. The other blesses the one staying home, asking mother Mary to have Her angels watch over the family. Is one going to the doctor? To the hospital? To minister to another? Whatever the occasion, the other blesses his or her spouse. We ask dearest mother Mary to help those concerned to do their tasks well, that His children glorify God in all things.

Many sweethearts also bless each other before going to sleep at night. Tracing a cross on the forehead of the other, they say, "(name) by the power of our sacrament of marriage, I bless you in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen. Sweet dreams my darling." Their peace and joy will remain secured as long as they continue to live together in their heavenly Father's home. Their security will continue as long as, together, they dwell on His Word, receive His Nourishment through the sacraments and give Him praise, glory and benediction in all things, together.

34.7 In death.
In marriage, when one spouse leaves the other because of death, there is no tear or rupture, because they both die and because they both live. Over the years they have become a one, "You."

No longer restrained by physical limitations, the Love and Spirit of the Other dwells in the heart of the survivor more completely than ever before. The survivor also dwells more completely in the spiritual presence of his or her loved One. Remember about one being present in one's name? (7) Their mutual happiness is in the knowledge that they are both children of the same Father and that they both live in His Home. They are living their first resurrection; (see 10.5), death is no more. Their consolation is that one day soon they will be together again, face to face, heart to heart, to sing their Father's praises together, forever and ever and ever, for this is the path they chose from the very beginning.

34.8 Children.
In marriage number one, children who are born in this sweet wine of, "You" (and not the sour wines of, "Me" and "Me") will be the joy and happiness of their parents and of their heavenly Father. Heaven's priceless spiritual heritage will be passed on to them.

[Persons who are virgins when they marry give their newborn a wonderful and unique treasure, the knowledge and certainty that their souls are sheltered in bodies that are wholesome and healthy– a gift of true life from a true love.]

34.9 The bottom-line.
Your Highness, in marriage number one we see but a few of the many treasures that make these hearts very rich Monarchs in the Kingdom of God. There are many more. You will have the joy and happiness of discovering these on your own, as you become more familiar with all that your heavenly Father has in store for you.

If marriage number one is your blessed lot in life, you know that you have to protect your kingdom against all enemies. Live in God's Light (Jesus) at all times and Satan's Darkness will never be able to even approach your realm. Darkness cannot displace Light.

"Ask advice of every wise person; never scorn any profitable advice. Bless the Lord God in everything; beg him to guide your ways and bring your paths and purposes to their end. For wisdom is not given to every nation; the Lord himself gives all good things. At his will he lifts up or he casts down to the depths of the dwelling of the dead. So now, my child, remember these precepts and never let them fade from your heart." (8)

34.10 Marriage 2, Mr. Me and Miss Me.
When a couple decides to live together, thinking that they can "try" marriage out before getting married, they tragically deceive themselves.

In such a situation, there is no leaving of self to become one with the other, to become a, "You" together- which is THE sign of the presence of Love. Love's total irrevocable gift of self to the Other is simply not present. In this arrangement it is impossible for these Hearts to create a new You, because neither heart loves the other to the point of leaving self to live totally and completely for the health, welfare and happiness of the other, for becoming one with the Other. Further, there is no "chalice" to contain the two hearts. They must remain as two and cannot be one. How in the world can one "try being married" when there is no marriage to try. Death to self is indispensable if hearts are to resurrect in a new state- marriage- a new Love called, "You".

The quest of the lover is to be One with the One loved. It is only when two hearts become One that love is in full splendor. In Marriage #2, there is no temporal commitment, let alone an eternal commitment. By It's very nature, Love is spiritual for, "God is Love." How can there be Love without God? Love is not love unless there is an eternity for Love to love. Such a Love is the only Love that can receive both these hearts and unite them into a new, "You". Otherwise, there is no vehicle for these two hearts to become One. What the couple is really doing is simply living together as two and not as one. They act like two, think like two, plan like two, and love like two. It is impossible therefore for them to know what marriage is like, because they are doing everything as two and not as one.

At one parish retreat, this reality really hit home with a particular couple in the group who were living a "trial marriage". They were shocked to see how they completely missed the point in what they were trying to achieve by living together. That very night, she wrote a proposal of marriage in song. At two in the morning, she woke her partner, and with a heart full of Love, sang her proposal to him. In sweet delight they set their marriage date right then and there. They were very happy with this turn of events. Finally they were going to find the peace and security their love for each other was yearning for. Friday evening at the closing of the retreat, they shared this joyful news with the rest of us. Of course, there was a lot of hugging and a few tears as we rejoiced with them. They were married a short time later. "Blessed be Yahweh, the God of Israel, who alone performs these marvels! Blessed forever be his glorious name, may the whole world be filled with his glory!" (9)

34.11 The bottom-line.
If marriage number two is where you are at, there is no way you will know what love is, until the two, "Mes" become a one, "You" in your King's loving, bountiful Heart.

34.12 Marriage model 3, Mr. and Mrs. Grapejuice.
In this model grape juice is used instead of wine, meaning that this couple has only a potential awareness of who they are as children of God and what their heavenly heritage is. They are somewhat conscious of their spiritual roots but can only respond with hollowness to these events and experiences in their lives. The grape juice symbolizes the immaturity of their spirituality and their love.

Because their security is not in their heavenly Father, they will not have Peace. Since peace is the only soil where Love can grow and blossom, this couple will not know the exhilaration of Love.

These persons do not see the need for going all the way with God. They simply do not have the time. The reason they do not have time for God is that they are too busy searching for happiness. Their energies are divided between what they consider to be the absolute minimum, bare bone essentials where their faith is concerned and their desire for fun, adventure and happiness. Like a rubber ball, they are always bouncing from one distraction to another, from one possession to another. Once started, they are unable to stop. They are never satisfied with what they find. They have all the creature comforts of life but are always looking out the window for that something else their hearts pine for . . . grape juice is grape juice is grape juice. Married life will soon be very boring.

The tragedy is that the opportunity to live as loving sweethearts in the peace, security and bliss of their Father's home is slowly slipping away. These blessings will soon be gone forever.

Eventually, even their own children will no longer be of any interest to them. Like everything else external which is where their vision starts and ends- "I see a finger moving." (10) even their children will be seen as simply another distraction. They are unable to help themselves since they are always looking in the wrong direction.

34.13 The bottom-line. 
Wake up before it's too late! Eternity will be as precious for you tomorrow as time is for you today. Indeed, time is only eternity's vestibule. Once death opens the door, we have to leave- whether we are properly attired or not. (11)

When God extends His mercies to you (as He is doing now), you would do well to turn from all your distractions and preoccupations, to run and grab hold of your King's hand and never let go of Him again.

Together, embark on the wonderful adventure of finding your spiritual roots. Help each other cultivate them. Water them often with the sacraments. Rejoice as your love will finally have a home worthy of it, Jesus' Heart, your God's Heart, your King's Heart, where it will be nurtured and grow in Him through Him and with Him. Failing this, it will take a crisis to shake you up and bring you back to your senses. When that grace from God is received, for goodness sake, do not respond with curses and blasphemies.

When either event happens, have no hesitation to begin anew together; indeed rejoice and celebrate God's Love for you. Because of the emptiness you have known, you should now be in a position to really relish Heaven's Presence in your lives. Memories of your earlier years will always strengthen your embraces for your dear Lord, who has made this reconciliation possible.

And, do not worry about not having everything you will need to grow as God's Children. (12) All His treasures will be at your disposal. God bless you.

34.14 Marriage model 4, Mr. Water and Mrs. Wine.
In marriage model number four, one spouse is fully conscious of his or her spiritual identity and lives as a child of God (wine) while the other spouse is not and does not (water). In this situation, there will always be conflict (or, at the very least, uneasy compromises) between the spouses where life's priorities and values are concerned.

One will go to Church; the other will not. One will embrace spiritual life; the other will not. One will find pleasure and happiness in the things of the world while the other will not. One will not want to have his or her spiritual values (wine) watered down. The Other prefers not to have his or her values (water) colored with a spiritual presence (wine). This household will soon have real tensions. If one spouse refrains from a total giving of self to the Other, the union is deficient and the pains of separation are felt by both (and the family) even though they continue to live together. In this situation, two hearts are living on different one-way streets, each going in the opposite direction of the Other, each getting further and further away from the Other.

The very least that can be said for this scene is that it's unhealthy. Eventually one of them will have to make a decision, one that is completely in opposition to his or her present position. During this time, there is a danger that One will be a drain on the Other, that One will be a burden on the Other. Eventually, life together will become unbearable for both spouses. What has to happen?

34.15 The bottom-line.
Water must be turned into wine, something our dear Lord does well. (13) For this to take place, the spiritual spouse must persevere and remain faithful to his or her spiritual heritage. The spiritual spouse must be constantly replenished and strengthened with the grace of God to deal with the situation, for his or her values are always threatened with being watered down by the Other. The spiritual spouse must never, never give up one pearl of his or her spiritual and religious inheritance because of the Other. (14) The spiritual spouse must also be patient and accept his or her partner where he or she is at. This may be the very ministry your King is asking of you. If it is, you will receive the graces you need to love and minister properly. Remember the point made on saying, "Yes" to the Other, a, "Yes" to everything that you see and do not see about the Other?

The patient, understanding, tranquil example of the one (wine) is what will bring about the conversion of the Other (water). There is no force more powerful than that of a living, breathing, shining example. It will be the example of the spiritual spouse as he/she gives witness to the presence and goodness of God's Love that will cause the other to eventually say, "I would like to be like him (or her)." When that happens, there will be great rejoicing, for suddenly, there will be twice the wine, twice the harmony, twice the happiness and twice the joy of being together in their heavenly Father's home.

34.16 Marriage model 5, Mr. and Mrs. Water.
In marriage model number five, neither spouse is really aware of who they are as children of God. This lack of awareness is symbolized by the water (compared to wine in marriage number one) that represents their spiritual values. They have life- but little else of real value.

Marriage for this couple will be empty and bland. Their "love" has no flavor; everything tastes the same. Their days are dull and full of routine. They will always be searching for happiness outside of themselves. Life will be expensive for them, as they try to fill this vacuum by buying the happiness they are looking for. Eventually, a costly, draining and tiresome lifestyle will end in discouragement. They no longer know where to look or what to buy or what to do to find that elusive happiness they are both seeking. Their spousal relationship has become a monotonous, tiring ritual. Habit and routine now resemble a bread and water type of existence. Their lives are in a rut.

As their frustrations grow, every setback or unexpected turn of events, no matter how small, becomes a major crisis. One will always blame the other for being the cause of their unhappiness. What's to be done? What happened to their dream of a carefree childlike life? Where are the sunny meadows filled with wild flowers, blue skies, green grass and the delightful sounds of songbirds? Help is needed but it can only come from the outside. When one has lost his or her sense of direction, one MUST get help from the outside.

The sooner they awaken to God's love calling them back to His bosom, the sooner they will feel the juices of real life in their veins again. Their hearts will pump a new life-giving blood, Love. Days will be filled with a new vibrant sense of renewal. Simply holding the other's hand will be an exhilarating experience, for they are now children living in their Father's home. In awe they will watch as their creation disintegrates and their King's creation unfolds just for them.

34.17 The bottom-line.
If this is your marital situation, there is a lot of catching up to do. Both of you (or at least one of you) need(s) to be converted. Take our dear Lord up on His invitation. Its time to start knocking on doors... Church doors.

34.18 Marriage model 6, Mr. Tar and Mrs. Wine.
In this marriage, one person, full of the purity and sweetness that identifies him/her as God's Child (wine), has full knowledge of the Kingdom of God and has given him or herself totally to the Other. The other person, with all of the wrong reasons for getting married (tar), sees only "what can I get for me?" in this relationship. One heart is red; the other is black. In this situation, life will be impossible for both spouses. Each is living in a world whose values are in complete opposition to the other, at war with the other. After the honeymoon, when pretense, the novelty and niceties have passed, violence will show its ugly head. First indifference, then disregard, then verbal abuse, then verbal violence, then verbal threats, then physical abuse, more verbal violence then physical violence, and then death.

34.19 The bottom-line.
If you are the victim in this situation, take care. Stay close to your parents, the parish community, neighbors and friends. Let them be mirrors for you, that you may see clearly (through them) what is happening in your life. Have them visit you often. Consult with them. Listen to their counsels.

34.20 Marriage model 7, Mr. and Mrs. Icecube.

In marriage number seven, we see ice cubes reluctantly falling from each wine goblet. These symbolize two persons who marry for purely selfish reasons. They will remain apart and separate for a long time- until all their selfishness melts and they are converted from water to wine. Their goals are to have together what would be more difficult, expensive and time consuming to have alone. Their home is well furnished and has all the latest gadgets. They give their respective careers their heart and soul and accommodate each other sexually. Life here, is one big happy ride on the merry-go-round. Because of the cold selfishness of their relationship with each other, it will be a long time before they can even think of becoming one in true love in their heavenly Father's home. It will be a long, long time before their avaricious and selfish cravings to satisfy self melt and they are able to be one with God and the Other.

Their cold, hard attitudes in matters of the Kingdom of God (where giving is an opposite to taking) prevent them from enjoying life as members of God's family. They circulate with their own crowd, where their lifestyle is continually confirmed. It is highly unlikely they will have children. If they do, the child will leave home as soon as possible, since he or she needs real love to sustain him or her. Unless they accept God's intervention in their lives (which He will do one day), they will have lost the opportunity of a lifetime.

From these seven models, try to visualize other variations, water and tar, wine and ice, water and ice and so on.

34.21 The children.
What effects do you think any of these marriages will have on children who are born in such relationships? What kind of children will Mr. and Mrs. Wine have? What kind of children will Mr. Me and Miss Me have? What kind of children will Mr. and Mrs. Grapejuice have? What kind of children will Mr. Wine and Mrs. Water have? What kind of children will Mr. and Mrs. Water have? What kind of children will Mr. Tar and Mrs. Wine have? What kind of children will Mr. and Mrs. Icecube have?

Review each model again and look at each situation from a child's point of view. What does each child see? How do you expect each child will grow? Although children survive as best they can in the environment they are born into, they will actively search for a healthier climate as soon as they are able to do so; they must if they are to survive.

No matter what your situation, with your King you can easily and joyfully turn things around; provide good soil for your children to grow in, where they can be happy, healthy, and strong as God wants all His children to be.

34.22 Which marriage model is yours?
If one (or more) of marriage models two to seven apply to you, together, use everything I have tried to share with you in this book to bring you to model number one. Use your memory and experiences to energize you and to fuel your appetite to be with your heavenly King as soon as possible.

As spousal love for each other grows anew, SLOWLY renew loving relationships with your children. Not before this, since your love for them must well from a love that you share together as God's children. (See Chapter 20. Heartbreaks in the Family.) Do not forget, their hearts were broken once before. They will want to see if your love for them is truly genuine. If they have left home, do this through letters, special occasion cards, telephone calls, gifts etc. Let every opportunity you have be one that will reinforce a loving trust between you and them. Do not forget, they once waited for you, now you must wait for them. Ask your dearest Mother Mary to be with you and them. Ask Her to help you help Her love them with God's own love.

34.23 Marriage model one, summary.
Your Highness, if marriage model number one (wine and wine) is where you are at, you know what to do to treasure with all your heart the blessings that are yours. Help each other love your Father's admonition. Help each other be alert to the presence of the Evil One. Watch for the signs of sin in you or in your loved one(s). Protect each other from the violence of this world. Read the gospels together. Nourish each other with God's words of Life.

Remember that Jesus immunized each of you against the poison of sin. Remember how Jesus suffered for you and that heart next to yours. Remember Jesus rescued each of you personally from eternal death.

Help each other live as the Child of God that each of you are. Help each other discern priorities in the Kingdom of God.

Celebrate each day, for you are a new creation in Christ Jesus. Never forget, you are a prince– a princess– in the Kingdom of God. Rejoice, be comforted and strengthened in the treasures Heaven has given each of you. Together, marvel in the beautiful garden you have been placed in.

Remember that the Lord Jesus is present in the Other. Love, praise and bless your Father who sees to all your needs. Treasure the Holy Spirit as your Companion and Counselor.

Your spiritual Mother Mary is present with you each and every day. Embrace Her and love Her spiritually. Tell Her how much you love Her. Ask Her what any child would ask when one wishes to learn from his or her Mother.

Learn about and meet all your spiritual relatives, Grandfather Joachim and Grandmother Anne; meet your spiritual cousins, the saints, the apostles, your spiritual brothers and sisters. Learn from Kings and Queens, Prophets and Priests who were here before you.

Bless each other at every opportunity. Daily, through the Eucharist, receive the Body and Blood of Christ. Let God embrace you often through the sacrament of reconciliation. Govern using the treasures given to you at your baptism. When illness strikes, receive your Lord's healing Love with joy and praise God.

In blissful surrender, forgive the other always. Never let the rule of right and wrong poison your kingdom. Develop your skills in communications and dialogue. Take the risks required to be present to the Other. Never forget how each of you is so special in God's eyes.

Help each other live in the Kingdom of God, for it is your home. Help each other identify the Kingdom of Man, for it is not your home. Help each other identify the Kingdom of Satan, for neither is this terrible place your home. Never let the enemy anywhere near your Kingdom. Help each other know when to say, "Yes" and when to say, "No." Help each other discern if prompts are from the Holy Spirit or from the Serpent. Help each other discern by listening to the community. Help each other reign from his (or her) throne.

Learn from our dear Lord through the gospel narratives. Nourish yourself with heavenly Food from the Bible every day.

Love each other with all the joy and happiness your heavenly Father meant for you to have. There are many, many more blessings, Your Highness. You will have the joy and happiness of discovering these on your own, as you become familiar with all that is yours in the Kingdom of God.

34.24 Marriages models 2 to 7, summary.

Models two to seven are marital situations that will more than likely erupt into bitter heartbreaks and suffering of all kinds. Some will be very serious even fatal. Many lives may be ruined or even destroyed.

If you are in one of these situations, I shared with you how to turn things around, that you and your loved ones can rejoice in having all the blessings Heaven has waiting for you.

If you are not yet married, have a good look at your heart and see who you are. Wine? Water? Tar? Ice? Grape juice?

If you are water or ice or tar or grape juice, don't you think it would be a good idea to ask your King to change you into wine? All the happiness that you want for yourself, your spouse and your children can, by living in the house of the Lord, be realized from the very beginning of your marriage.

And if you are wine, don't you think it would be a good idea to marry wine from the same vineyard and not water or ice or tar or grape juice? A bad choice could bring nothing but heartbreaks into your life and the lives of your children. You do not have the right to move into the life of an Other and fill it with heartbreaks. You do not have the right to fill your children's lives with heartbreaks. An Other does not have the right to come into your life and fill it with heartbreaks. We do not have the right to fill our dear Lord's Heart with heartbreaks. We do not have the right to fill our heavenly Father's "Heart" with heartbreaks. We do not have the right to fill our Holy Spirit's "Heart" with heartbreaks.

If you are not wine, wouldn't it be better to be changed into sweet wine (15) and blend your heart with another sweet wine? Then with your loved one and your children, live in the house of the Lord all the days of your life- Prince and Princess that you are in your Father's Kingdom.

34.25 Separation.
You have seen how, in a valid marriage, two persons become one flesh. Can you imagine the incredible pain that one is put through when a so-called separation takes place? As impossible as it is to separate the wines used in these models, it is equally impossible to separate two persons, two hearts, two bodies who have become one flesh in marriage. If separation is impossible, what does happen when One physically "leaves" the Other?

No matter how far away one spouse goes (separation or divorce), he or she will always be one flesh with the other, "until death do us part." While they will be physically apart, one from the other, they will both continue to be the constituent elements of the "You" their marriage created. They will always be "one flesh" until "death do us part."

Instead of each continuing the giving of self to the other, one will now introduce into his or her "You" all kinds of foreign malignant matter that will cause pain to both and to everyone involved. No matter who one spouse is with, the other will always be there since they are one. When one leaves to love another, or to love one's work, or to love one's recreation, hearts are literally ripped apart. Souls are put through indescribable pain. There is a violent tear separating one flesh into two parts.

The spouse who left the other, can only come back after being thoroughly washed and cleansed by the sacrament of reconciliation, otherwise he or she will contaminate the Other. That person must then discard every foreign matter that became a part of his or her "You" during this whole episode. Then with God's grace and time, their reconciling hearts will heal their wounds and the wounds inflicted on others.

34.26 Persons living together but married to another...
Marriage is a ministry given by God to two hearts to:
1. Minister to Him through a loving conjugal communion.
2. Minister to Him in the transmission of His Life.
3. Minister to Him by making Him known to the Hearts He places in their care. 
4. Minister to Him in bringing the good news of His Son's message to their brothers and sisters in this world, all this, for God's greater glory via the matrimonial nest, the Church they are to build with materials from His Kingdom. 

Couples who are living together but married to another, cannot build a Church and minister to God. If the first marriage (of either spouse) was valid, it should be obvious that God cannot contradict Himself (and the hearts of so many who are trusting and dependent on Him) by discarding His first blessing and replacing it with a new one in its stead. Who, in all sincerity and goodwill, expects God to contradict Himself when He has said, " . . . what God has united, man must not divide." (16) God is Truth and Truth does not change.

Marriage is a sacrament established by God to minister to God. Leaving one's spouse to "marry" another was not established by God, is not a sacrament, is not a ministry and cannot minister to God. It cannot therefore be blessed by God. Many hearts, however, because of a lack of preparation, immaturity, psychological and emotional deficiencies, hereditary or environmental influences and wounds of one kind or another, have suffered severe heartbreaks and saw union with another as their only way to survive. God does understand. He made us- He knows us.

What to do? The only thing you have going for you (Thank God!) is God. You are not alone, and God has not abandoned you. "Does a woman forget her baby at the breast, or fail to cherish the son of her womb? Yet even if these forget, I will never forget you." (17)

Having read this book, you will surely now realize how fragile we all are and that no one "naturally" wants to harm another. Blame, finger pointing and retribution are completely out of the question. This is not a time for lawyers, it's a time for angels.

Use the power of your sacrament of Marriage (that God Himself blessed) to evangelize your situation and return order in the Kingdom of God. Use the power of your sacrament of Marriage to evangelize the healing and reunion of separated hearts, to evangelize the rebuilding of the Church God has asked you to build for His greater glory.

God is God and there is nothing that He cannot do. The chaos, destruction, disorder and changes that took place because of a marriage breakup, can all be restored- the marriage can be rebuilt- each of you can have new life and a new audacity as you forge ahead, if you use the power of your sacrament of Marriage to evangelize the situation. "God is God, not of the dead but of the living." (18)

The task may seem unthinkable, and understandably so; however, with a spark of goodwill and a desire to minister to your King once again, your goal is within reach. As you leave the darkness and approach the Light, as you leave the noise and approach the Quiet, as you leave turmoil and anxiety and approach the God of Peace, as you leave confusion and chaos and approach His healing and resurrecting counsels, you will soon see that everything is possible, for with our God, " . . . nothing shall be impossible." (19)

You are not a nobody. You are a Prince or a Princess in the Kingdom of God. God has placed all of Heaven's love, mercy and power at your disposal. He has told you that "nothing shall be impossible for you." (20)

Reconcile yourself with your heavenly Father through the sacrament of reconciliation.

Contact your parish priest, God's ambassador in your kingdom. In fraternal love, with God's minister in your midst, together, partners, children, separated spouses pray and discern, discuss and help each other. Every diocese has a "Marriage Office" where persons in difficulty can receive help and counseling when needed. Take Christ at His word and follow Him to each of your own homes where God yearns to restore your lives, to make each of you full, active partners with Him once more. "God is God, not of the dead but of the living."

For some, the journey will be short; for others it will be long. For everyone it will be life-giving and a joyous resurrection. All of Heaven is waiting for a sign from you. A “Yes!” is all that separates you (with a heart full of joy and benediction) from singing His praises, and telling of His wondrous works forever and ever. Amen.

34.27 The bottom-line.
When is a marriage successful? When it slips and trips and falls, 7,776 times and rises 7,777 times. Each growing pain, each resurrection is a learning experience– a new growth that nourishes, strengthens and beautifies the marriage bloom, a sign of God’s presence in your marriage ministry.
When is a marriage a failure? When it trips, falls and lies there, to slowly shrivel and eventually die.

Footnotes.

1 Genesis 1:28.

2 The Autobiography of St. Thérèse of Lisieux, "The Story of a Soul." Chapter Five. Image Books. A Division of Doubleday and Company Inc.,

3 I was and still am learning and growing- thank God.

4 Jeremiah 1:5.

5 Isaiah 43.1.

6 Luke 2:52.

7 See section 29.4 on name containing the person.

8 Tobit 18-20.

9 Psalm 71:18-19.

10 Section 2.6 of this book.

11 Matthew 22:11

12 Matthew 6:25-34

13 John 2:3-9

14 Matthew 7:6

15 John 2:1-12.

16 Matthew 19:6

17 Isaiah 49:15.

18 Matthew 22:32.

19 Luke 1:37

20 Matthew 17:20